Painting Flowers
by Evil Duckie of the BlackLagoon
Summary: You are the most unusual of creatures...". Audrey smiled,"Some may take offense but I simply think you to be flirting with me Mr.Hatter". Hatter smiled as he took her hand as he nuzzled his cheek into her palm. "You are so mad but it delights me so much"
1. Begins with the letter A: Alcohol

Hey everybody! Saw Alice in Wonderland twice already and felt inspired to write up a story. If you have already come to read my stories you already know that I usually love to swear and I use as much humor for all my readers. This is an OC/Hatter story so if your not down you know how to leave. Hope everyone enjoys and please let me get your thoughts!

I'm basing my character of Audrey off of Zoey Deschanel. And I'm Melanie off of Cameron Diaz. ENJOY!

Alice in Wonderland sadly does not belong to me at all by Lewis Carrol. *sigh*

"Audrey!! HELP!! ZIP ZIP!!", Melanie screamed as it echoed in the apartment. Audrey sighed as her teeth began to grind. She stood up stumbling slightly from the heels from hell. Once she gained balance she shrugged realizing that it really complimented her outfit for tonight as she stepped out into the hallway to help her roommate Melanie.

Tonight was All Hallows Eve and instead of being silly little children they were going to celebrate the way all grown ups do and drink themselves silly. Their buddy Riley had called them a few days ago inviting them to fantastic party apparently taking part outside of London out in a wooded camping area. At first the girls figured it to be slightly too shady but realizing they had nothing else planned they figured why the hell not? It would probably make for a good story later once they were sober.

Since both Melanie or Mel and Audrey were single they figured for Halloween they would dress up as a couple characters as Audrey entered Mel's room. Upon entering she caught one glance at Mel in her costume and sighed as she leaned against the doorframe.

"Could you look any sluttier Mel? I mean really?", as she watched Mel pull her thigh highs up and stick her feet into a pair of dangerous heels.

Mel turned around and gave Audrey a look of disbelief. "What you going on about?", as she twirled in tutu.

"We were suppose to go as Alice and the Mad Hatter. Not the Mad Hatter and the blonde slut. You more resemble Alice in Pornland", as Mel huffed trying to pull down her barely there blue skirt as she tried to puff up her white tutu. Her barely there alice outfit reached her mid-thigh and left much to the imagination. She also wore a small white apron with black bows, a giant black bow laid lopsided on her head as she wore white thigh highs with black bows. And to finish off her outfit she had on a pair of 4 inch black heels that buttoned on the side to give her the look of an innocent child though she definitely was nothing close to that description.

"Well I'm sorry if your not feeling very rebellious to show some skin Audrey. But Robbie is apparently going tonight and maybe I want to get closer with him…", as she snuck a coy look at Audrey in the mirror as she applied a red hue of lipstick.

"I'm sorry that I didn't feel like being slutty Mad Hatter", as she looked down as what she was wearing. She was wearing pink purple wash skinny jeans covered in dozen types of pointless zippers. On her feet were a pair of black and white checkered heels that tied at her ankle. She sighed as she knew her feet were going to kill in a few hours. She also wore a white button up shirt that ruffled at her wrist as a pink and purple ty dye tie adorned her neck. She wore a mans cigarette jacket that were covered in different pins and patches. Her favorite thing though was her top hat. She spent hours making it perfect. She had super glued cards and actual plastic tea cups and a tea cup to the top of her hat. Coming out of the pot were streamers that looked like tea was pouring into one of her plastic cups. It was her prized possession as of right now. She painted her lips a bright pink and drew lines around her eyes to give the effect of having extremely long eyelashes or looking like a china doll.

Audrey shrugged as she walked forward placing her hands on Mel's back as she zipped her up.

"Alright, we all set?", as both girls took a quick check through their bags for keys, smokes, phones.

They wandered out the house out to Mel's car as she handed Audrey her keys.

"Mel, let's not drink too much tonight. I don't feel like passing out in the woods tonight and waking up in the morning realizing that I was molested by a raccoon", as she turned to look at her roommate.

Mel only "hmm'd" as she was squishing her breast together and up trying to make them more noticeable.

Audrey rolled her eyes. "Good thing we had this chat Mel. I really feel like we understood each other", as Mel opened up her compact to check her lipstick.

Audrey shook her head once more. Suddenly she had a strange feeling in her gut and began to feel anxious. Somewhere in the back of her head she was telling herself that this isn't the best idea but she waved the idea away continuing to tell herself that it's a party with her friends. So what if it was in some creepy woods?

They had been driving for about an hour now and were about to reach their destination as Audrey made a left down a dark dirt path surrounded by large trees.

"This is fucking creepy Audrey…", Mel whispered as she checked her phone realizing that she only had one bar.

"Fuck! This isn't good at all. I only have one bar. If we get separated….", as Mel peered outside of the window of the car to see nothing but darkness and dense woods.

"It's cool Mel. We'll keep close, and we can leave in a few hours. We will be fine", as Audrey was trying to convince herself. Suddenly she stopped as she came across a bunch of cars parked along the dirt path, as they both saw light in the distance.

"I guess we're here Mel", as she turned off the car but both sat glued to their seats.

Audrey snorted. "Why are we being so silly? Come on! Booze awaits!", as the girls fears were alleviated as they both stepped out grabbing each others hands and running towards the light.

To say the least it wasn't simply a party but more of a rave. They built a good five foot bonfire and people were going crazy. Dancing, howling at the sky. People were making out, drinking, and Audrey was certain she just someone snort something that shouldn't be snorted. It was funny to say the least to see fairies, comic book characters, animals and all sorts of strange people dressed up being completely mad.

"You ladies made it!", as their friend Robbie showed up as Hans Solo as he threw his arms around both girls. He reeked of beer as he smiled stupidly at both of them.

"Gods, you both just…just look sexy", as Audrey rolled her eyes removing Robbie's arm off of her.

"I'm going to go get a beer. Have fun you two! Remember Mel what we talked about…", as she gave Mel a look.

Mel was smiling crazily as she nodded her head towards Audrey and walked away with a stumbling Robbie.

"Smarmy bastard….", as Audrey walked towards a keg pouring herself a cup of nice cold beer.

Lifting her beer towards a man throwing up in his chicken head mask she saluted him.

"Here's hoping to a fantastical night!", as she took a large swig of her beer.

Okay! Yeah I know kind of slow but trust me it will get better! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Please review!!!


	2. Begins with the letter B: Bacchanal

Not much to say except the amusement continues! Read and Review!

BTW: If anyone is wondering what the title for letter B means Bacchanal means drunkard; Reveller. Haha I thought it was appropriate for poor Audrey.

Sadly enough I don't own Alice in Wonderland. Belongs to the awesomeness that is Lewis Carrol.

She couldn't remember how many beers she had. After five it all became blurry. Sitting against a tree she nursed her beer as she stared out at the party. People were still going strong surprisingly as she looked at her watch and realized for some strange reason it had stopped. Sighing she tipped back her beer and finished the last of it. Suddenly she heard a rustling coming from a bush nearby. She immediately tensed as she blocked out the rest of the noise and peered at the bush that moved only seconds ago. Squinting, she realized a large pair of eyes were staring back at her. A white rabbit in a waist coat slowly crawled out and sat on his hind legs as he stared at her. Audrey blinked a few times and stared at her empty cup. Fuck….someone had spiked her beer with some sort of hallucinogenic. She looked back up at the rabbit and rubbed her eyes to realize he was still standing there. The strange looking rabbit reached into his front pocket pulling out a pocket watch as he tapped on it staring back at her.

"What's wrong Mr. Rabbit?", she murmured deciding to just go along with this stupidity.

"Your late young miss", the rabbit answered back sounding disapproving.

"Alright….alright…let me just get up and we can go", as she stood up wobbly leaning against the tree. Looking back over the rabbit she realized that he already starting hopping away from her.

"Hey wait for me talking rabbit!", she yelled out as she started running after the rabbit.

"Hold up! Alcohol does not help the uncoordinated", as she stumbled over a root trying to keep up after the rabbit as she ran farther and farther into the woods not even realizing where she was going.

She giggled as she stumbled herself towards a twisted dead tree. Falling against a root she only saw the rabbits head peer out to look at her as he snuck himself back into the hole. Audrey crawled over to the hole and peered into the darkness.

"Mr. Rabbit! You are pretty rude! Let me tell you! Didn't your mother ever teach you any manners?", as she reached her hand into the hole reaching blindly expecting to grab the rabbit. Sighing she crawled herself out a bit and went down on her stomach crawling towards the hole poking her head inside.

"Mr. Fancy Rabbit! Hello?", as she began humming when without realizing the earth starting giving way and before she could grab onto anything she fell head first down the rabbit hole.

Two words could describe her feeling as she fell through the mysterious role. Scared Shitless.

Audrey screamed that she was positive all of nature could hear her at this point as strange things swirled around her. She fell pass mirrors. A piano that was playing on it's own. Cupboards, candles, lamps, clocks of different sizes and proportions. She could had even sworn she saw a bed as she swirled and tumbled down farther and farther as she looked up and couldn't see anything from above until THUMP.

"Ow…….fuck….fuck…..fuck", she moaned as she bit her bottom lip. Breathing as deeply as possibly she sat up as everything was spinning. Looking around she realized some strange as she felt her hair and noticed it was standing up. Looking to her left, a chandelier stood up straight also. Looking up she realized she was actually down as she was the one who was actually on the ceiling. Realizing this she fell yet again, as she moaning in the dusty floor.

"Mr. Rabbit, when I get my hands on you. Oh…I will have a lucky rabbit foot thanks to you", as she sat herself up again. Getting up on shaky knees she noticed that she was surrounded by doors of different sizes. Going over to each of them she started turning handles to get out but there was no use. All were locked.

Audrey groaned running her hands through her hair. "How bad was the drug that the person gave me? I mean really? This is all just a hallucination Audrey. Your fine. Just play along", as she started giggling again at her predicament.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a small bottle as she began walking towards it. Picking it up she noticed a small tag attached to the bottle. Lifting it she read _"Drink Me"_. Next to it she realized it was an old rusted key. Picking it up in one hand, she took the bottle into her other hand.

"That's smart, it could be anything at this point", but instead of letting sober logic take over she took drunk stupid in and took a swig of the bottle. Suddenly she began to cough and things began to get fuzzy as she looked up at the ceiling and realized that she was shrinking.

"This is definitely a mind warp…", Audrey whispered as she began ribbing apart her tie because her clothes were too big. Wrapping herself with the strips she managed to make herself look presentable as possible.

Key in hand she walked over to the tiny door that fit her size just find. Slipping the key in the lock she turned as a click echoed in the door room.

"EUREKA!", Audrey yelled as she stumbled her way into more darkness. Looking around she saw toadstools of every color. There were numerous large flowers of every kind. A cobble path. The sky was dotted by millions of stars, some shooting across the sky. She also noticed two moons as she squinted at them. Looking around at her surroundings she smiled as she smacked herself in the head.

"Oh thank god….I know where I am. I'm back on the path", as she started singing to herself stumbling her way towards the toadstool mazes. She stopped suddenly and looked around.

"Goddamnit, I definitely parked the car here", huffing as she went to take a sip of her bedazzled flask filled with vodka when suddenly she left it in her huge outfit. Sighing she kicked a rock.

"Mel is going to kill me for losing the car but I'm positive I parked it right here. Right by this giant thing", as she kicked the toadstool. Moaning from being exhausted and overly drunk she crawled her way up on the toad stool and felt around under her bra to find her pack of smokes. Pulling one out and pulling her lighter out of the box she lit one up as she stared up at the stars.

"I forgot how much I love camping", she whispered as she looked to her side to find to her surprised a small blue caterpillar smoking what appeared to be a hookah.

"You really do have the life Mr. Caterpillar. Look at your simply chilling there smoking hookah. That's really classy for a caterpillar but I notice you have a monocle. What are you? Some aristocratic caterpillar or something?", as she snorted to herself.

The caterpillar looked at her in disbelief. "Fatuous girl! How dare you! Such impudence!"

Audrey only laughed as she waved the blue caterpillar off, as she took one more drag of her cigarette before she flicked it away.

"Well, Mr. Caterpillar it would seem that I have to sleep outside and I can figure out shit in the morning. Sleep tight Mr. Badass", she murmured as she curled her body into a ball immediately passing out to the soft sounds around her.

HAHA! Hopefully you enjoy that! Would be an interesting experience to enter Underland drunk. BTW! Just in case she's not stupid. She's just extremely drunk right now and doesn't believe anything that is going on around her right now. She really is not there at all right now. HAHA


	3. Begins with the letter C: Cacotopia

**Hello everyone! Thank you so much to my reviewers and readers who I hope are so far enjoying the story!**

**Cacotopia: a state in which everything is as bad as it can be**

**Alice in Wonderland does not belong to me but the magnificent Lewis Carrol. **

**Read and Review! On with the story!**

Pain. That was the only thought that could go through Audrey's pulsing head as she squinted her eyes feeling the warmth of the sun on her body. Morning. She breathed deeply. It couldn't have come any sooner. Poor Mel was probably worried sick about her where abouts.

Slowly Audrey pushed herself up cracking her neck and wrists. Not the most comfortable of sleeps she's ever had but it had to do as she opened her eyes slowly lifting her hands to cover her face from the sun.

Licking her parched lips she realized something strange as she looked down. She was sleeping on a giant toadstool. Not even a giant toadstool more like a toadstool on steroids and her eyes widened abnormally.

"Finally. I began to wonder if you would ever awaken you stupid girl", as Audrey turned around screaming.

Her mouth gaped open to realize that whoever was talking to her was in fact a small blue caterpillar with a monocle.

"Oh my god!", as she slowly removed her shoe ready to squash the bug before her.

"Put that down you cretin! Even if you did try to murder me, from the looks of it you would you fail. If you haven't noticed I am almost as big as you", as the caterpillar took another puff of hookah.

Audrey began inhaling deeply as an anxiety attack began taking over her body.

"Okay…..okay…..breath. Breath. Breath. Breath. Your alright Audrey. Your….your simply passed out. Still. You really aren't awake right now. There isn't a blue caterpillar challenging your intelligence smoking a hookah. He isn't talking to you. You…..your simply losing your mind is all. Yup", as she began to nod her head as the caterpillar looked as her pathetically.

"Oh dear…I can only wonder how you got here", as the caterpillar looked up at here quizzically.

Audrey zoned off as she slapped herself in the face.

"I remember! There was a white rabbit! He had a waistcoat! I followed the little diabolical fucker!", as her eyes went insane as she wobbly stood up her hand in the air feeling proud of herself to remember something.

"Congratulations….", the caterpillar murmured sarcastically. "It would seem we are getting something and that diabolical whatever you called him is Nivens McTwisp".

"Oh…so the little trickster has a name does he?"

"Why wouldn't he have a name girl?"

"Well,….I don't know. Your all animals. Animals aren't really suppose to talk and such. At least where I am from", as she stared down at her hands suddenly feeling ashamed.

The caterpillar pursed his lips as he stared as her from his monocle.

"My name if you so wish to know it is Absolem", as the blue caterpillar gave a small bow to Audrey.

Audrey gave him a small smile as a she curtsied. "My name is Audrey", as her eyes wandered to look at the strange world realizing she was far away from something she would recognized.

"Where am I Absolem?", she asked in a hushed whisper.

"You are in Underland girl and it would seem that McTwisp is coming towards us", as Audrey immediately faced ahead of her to see the same white rabbit coming towards them.

"Ooo…", as she bit her lips, clenching her hands into fist. "I have a few choice words with that rabbit", as she crawled her way down from the toadstool.

"Oy! Rabbit! We need to have a talk!", she shouted as she realized the closer the rabbit approached her the bigger he seemed. Looking up she realized she was out of her element.

"Oh….oh my goodness. You're here! What are you doing here!", as the rabbit began fumbling with his pockets, anxiety flowing off him.

"I was stupid! I was drunk! It's not every day you come across a white bunny in a waistcoat talking to people! You really think I would pass this opportunity? Plus, you come to me announcing I was late! What am I late for?", as she continued to babble as the rabbit and caterpillar continued to look at her.

"Silence girl. Let McTwisp talk", as Audrey immediately shut her lips her anger boiling.

"I am ever, ever, ever so sorry miss. I must have confused you with some other girl. Oh dear! Oh no's! This is horrible! Simply horrible! I've made a terrible mistake! You could not be the girl! Just look at you", as Audrey's mouth fell open taking offence as she stared down at herself.

McTwisp began to pace as he continued to shake his head and check his pocket watch.

"I've failed. I am such a failure. I've failed the queen-", as he suddenly stopped pacing to feeling a small hand on his elbow.

"Don't fret….everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect Mr. McTwisp. Why are you so worried? Is everything alright?", as Audrey looked on sadly at the poor rabbit panicking before her.

McTwisp looked at the girl in slight awe. "What is your name dear girl?"

"My name is Audrey. I'm 21 years old. And I'm so confused and lost. Can you help me?", she whispered as her eyes began to fill with tears.

McTwisp took her hand patting it gently. "Do not worry my dear girl. I'll take you to the Hatter. He may be able to help us. If not we will go to the queen and she will most certainly help you", as Audrey broke out into a small smile, wiping away her unshed tears.

"We best start now before it gets dark. We mustn't be late", as McTwisp checked his pocket watch once more.

"Alright", Audrey murmured as she turned back to face Absolem. He only stared at her as he only raised one of his many hands and waved. Audrey gave him a small awkward smile as she gave a small wave back before turning back towards McTwisp to start their journey.

Absolem watched as they began walking down the never-ending path of toadstools.

"Good luck lost Audrey", Absolem whispered as the smoke enveloped him.

Underland was unlike anything Audrey had ever seen before. Giant colorful toadstools. Giant flowers that talked amongst themselves. The sky wasn't only just a faded blue but random colors floated by. Giant insects like horseflies which surprisingly were small horses with wings. Everything seemed to be alive and could actually talk back to her. This was one acid trip she decided.

"Soo…..why have you failed the queen?", she asked as a large and not so familiar insect flew past her.

"Things, things have not been alright in Underland Audrey", McTwisp whispered as he continued looking around paranoid as if someone was listening in.

"What's going on?"

"The White Queen is very sick".

"The White queen?", as she stared strangely at him.

"Long ago…..we lived in a time of peace. But the White Queens sister the Red Queen had destroyed Underland from its once beauty and reigned".

"What happened?"

"A small girl. The chosen girl Alice had come and saved our world and returned Underland to the rule of the White Queen and we were finally at peace".

Suddenly Audrey stopped as she collapsed to her knees as her head started swirling.

"Audrey…? Audrey my dear girl are you alright?", as McTwisp stared at her concerned.

"Alice?", she whispered as she began looking at everything around her. "No, no its not possible".

"What isn't possible?"

"This is Wonderland. Thee Wonderland?", as she stared up at McTwisp in complete shock.

"Wonderland?", as the Rabbit began to softly laugh. "You remind me of Alice. She too called this world Wonderland. Now really Audrey you must get up. It will still take us some time to get to Hatter's and we mustn't be late!", as he began hopping away.

Audrey stood up slowly as continued to follow McTwisp. There's no way she thought to herself. Wonderland is just a story for children. It doesn't exist. It can't exist. It simply can't. She stared down at her hand as she pinched herself harshly. Wake up Audrey! Wake up! This is all just a dream! Wonderland is not real. Wonderland is story. Alice isn't real! But to no luck. As hard as she tried to pinch herself she still found herself in this strange world.

"Well, this can't get any worse", she sarcastically noted to herself.

**That's it for now! Don't worry! The Hatter should be in the next chapter! I hope you enjoyed! Please review my lovelies! **


	4. Begins with the letter D: Dolose

**Hey everyone! Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm really glad people are enjoying the story so far. Sorry if it seems slow right now. It will be picking up shortly.**

**Do not own Alice in Wonderland. That belongs to the masterful mind of Lewis Carrol.**

**Now, on with the story. Please read and review!**

**Dolose- having evil of malicious intent.**

Audrey followed McTwisp silently staring at the dirt road in a complete daze. Without noticing she ran into the large rabbit as he was staring at the sign before them. Leaning to the side she peered up noticing they were in a fork in the road. One side of the arrow pointed towards Queast while the other side pointed towards Witzend.

"Alright, everything's seems to be in order", as McTwisp began hopping down towards Witzend.

Audrey ran to keep up. "What was that all about?"

"Well, you can never really be too sure of where you are going. Things are not always where you leave them", he answered back logically as Audrey just quirked her eyebrow at him. How could that even be possible? Lands such as these can't just move around.

As they continued down towards Witzend she immediately realized that her landscape of once pretty toadstools and flowers had changed. Looking up she realized the sky had darkened as twisted, mangled trees blocked her view. Glancing around she tried to look pass the trees but it seemed to be a deep dense forest as a small fog rolled in. To say the least Audrey felt the slight bit of tension.

"So, what's wrong with the Queen?", Audrey asked as McTwisp stared at her surprised. He stopped for a moment his nose and whiskers twitching as he looked around him quickly as if expecting something to jump out and scare them.

"Let us continue walking and I shall tell you", he said in a hushed whisper as Audrey nodded her head.

"A few days ago our Queen had fallen ill which is very unusual in Underland", as he continued to glance at his surroundings.

"She is slowly dying and we are unsure how".

"Well, what of the Red Queen? Couldn't this be her doing?"

"Surprisingly Audrey, we had thought this ourselves but when we had sent out some of the Queen's army to the Outlands we had actually found the Red Queen and Knave, her second in command both dead. It seems that they had both ended up killing each other", as McTwisp shook his head sadly.

"Who else could possibly have anything against the Queen?", as she saw something in the corner of her eye and stopped to look.

"Audrey?"

"Didn't you see that? I could have sworn I saw something staring at me…", as McTwisp stood on his hind legs sniffing the air. He sighed.

"Chessur, must you sneak on us?", as a large smile appeared right before Audrey's eyes. Wisps of gray and turquoise smoke appeared to form large emerald eyes, and a striped body that belonged to a large cat.

"Greetings all", as he twirled in the air glancing at Audrey curiously. His voice was deep and smooth. She could picture an older gentleman in a robe smoking a pipe reading the newspaper by the fire asking for another cognac. Audrey couldn't help but smile. He definitely gave off an air of deviousness but he was just adorable to look at.

"And who might you be? I most certainly have never seen you here before", as he floated closer to the girl before being blocked off by McTwisp.

"It's none of your business Chessur! I am ever so sorry but the young girl and I are quite busy and you are delaying us!", as he grabbed Audrey's hand to continue their destination.

"Oh you silly Rabbit! I was only asking a question. But, if you are going to Hatter I would be weary if I was you", examining his claws as he glanced coyly up noticing McTwisp stop.

"Whatever do you mean?", as he stared suspiciously at the floating cat.

"He's in one of his moods of course, and the girl is so tiny. It would be most horrible if he angrily stepped on her", as he made a crushing motion with his foot.

Audrey's mouth dropped horrified. No one said anything about the possibility of her being crushed. This was not in the fine print!

"He may be mad but he would never cause harm to the poor girl!", McTwisp shouted back furiously.

The feline only smirked as he floated in circles till he became nothing but a gray mist and disappeared.

"Mr. McTwisp? This, this man or Hatter as you call him is suppose to help me right? He isn't going to crush me is he?", as panic set in her voice.

"No, no, no, no of course not. He would never do that. No of course he wouldn't. Yes, he may be a little mad. But not a bad mad. No of course not you are completely safe", trying to reassure himself more then Audrey.

"I'm dead. I'm so dead", she whispered to herself sarcastically.

"Alright we must really continue! That flee bitten hairball is nothing but trouble. Do not listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about".

"So, back to the White Queen. Who else could be doing this?"

"We are unsure. There's a great possibility that it is someone in her court. Someone or something is poisoning her. We simply do not know who it is and we do not know how to help her", as the Rabbit sniffled.

"So there's a deceiver in the group. Is that why you didn't tell the cat what my name was?"

"Precisely. Dark times have befallen us again. We were once a trusting world but now it seems everyone is looking behind their backs. Someone amongst us that we trust cannot be trusted and we don't know how to find whoever it is. And as each day goes by our Queen gets weaker and weaker", he replied wearily.

"Would it be such a bad thing if he knew my name?"

"The Chessur is not a bad cat. But he is a selfish thing and when things get bad he will turn on anyone or anything to save his own hide", he whispered back furiously.

"You are something that we haven't received for a very long time. Not since Alice. It is most unusual so I cannot help but feel for some reason that you are important. Maybe you were sent here to help save our Queen?", looking on hopefully.

"I'm sorry Mr. McTwisp but you are wrong. I can barely help myself yet alone help a Queen and her world. Little people like me in the world not figuratively speaking don't do things like this. I wake up. Drink coffee. Go to my crap job. Get paid crap money. Go home alone. And wallow in my depressing life. And the process continues the next day", as she named off things on her fingers.

"I'm just like everybody else. I'm not special. I'm simply another person in life trying to get by and get my shit together".

"Maybe that is why you are here? Maybe your reason to in life is to help us in ours. You are something special though you may not believe so young Audrey. You are from the Otherworld. We do not receive creatures like you to ours. There must be a reason as to why you have come and we shall find out your purpose here", as Audrey could only nod morosely. The area started to clear as they found themselves in a large field.

If front of Audrey was a worn down wind mill that had seen better days. It stood on an angle and she was pretty sure that if there was a strong enough gust of wind it would go down like a house of cards.

What really caught her eye was the long table before her. It was a large wooden rectangular table covered by a stained tablecloth that was once white. The table was covered with all sorts of china. Small cups, large cups, big teapots, small teapots. Dozens of forks, spoons, knives. Sugar cubes littered the table, as plates upon plates were covered in deserts from biscuits, cookies, scones. In the background there was a phonograph playing scratchily something that sounded from the 20s'. Something she would hear in her grandmothers home on a Sunday as grandma would smoke up her Audrey Hepburn like cigarette holder. It was an interesting tea party to say the least.

"Are we intruding on some party?", as she turned towards McTwisp who only shook his head.

Coming to the end of the table she noticed another creature. A hare who sat there staring intensely at a stained spoon in his paw. On the other side of the table she noticed a tiny dormouse taking quick sips out of her teacup.

But what really caught her attention was a man. If that's what you could call him because she had never seen a man like him before in her life. He was staring at them but wasn't. He was in a daze of sorts, as no smile graced his mouth. He simply stared as if expecting something to distract him. Suddenly the hare yelled, pulling on his long ears as he took his tea cup and chucked it at the strange man. Without blinking he moved his head to the side the cup almost grazing his outlandish orange hair as it flew pass him.

Suddenly he smacked himself in the face causing Audrey to jump slightly. Blinking quickly the man realized there were guests here. Standing up on his chair he started walking across the table as cups and plates shattered beneath his shoes. Audrey stared on in shock as the man smiled a small gap between his two front teeth. Jumping down from the end of the table he kneeled down before Audrey ignoring McTwisp.

"What do we have here?", as bright green eyes twinkled before her.

**SO YEAH!! WOO!!! WE FINALLY HAVE THE HATTER! PLEASE REVIEW LOVLIES!!!**


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